Teacher my Grandma said....

I just remembered another teacher story I have to write down before I forget. We'll call him 'Luke'. Luke was having some issues one day and kept raising his hand and anouncing "Teacher my bum itches. I need to call my grandma."

I would just say okay and hope he would forget. After he made this same complaint 2 or 3 times. I told him to go the bathroom and wipe.

Luke--"but i don't need to go to the bathroom!"

I said 'Luke sometimes if you don't wipe good enough it makes your bum itch. now go to the bathroom and wipe.'

He comes back and again--teacher my bum itches. I need to call my grandma. Then he says "My grandma said if my bum itches and then I wipe and it still itches that I need to call her!"

Oh man I couldn't keep it in after that. My reply was--your grandma said all of that? "Yes she did!" Well okay we better go call her then!

Uhhhhhh.....

I don't know how to post pictures.-----Oh never mind Bonnie to the rescue!!!

Miss Master's or Master Christensen....HMMM

I finally graduated last weekend, the 12th to be exact, with my masters degree. It really went by pretty fast. Some of it was easy, some hard. The best part is I took all my classes with friends from work. We went up to Logan (USU) and stayed the night before. I stepped (rolled) on campus for the first time to graduate.

So I was 'hooded' buy some hot professor. If you don't know what 'hooded' means--well--I'm smarter than you! And I got to be the first person in the processional (line), pushed by this young hottie 18 year old. Props Joey!!! Then the school newspaper lady took our picture and is writing an article about the girls from Salt Lake that graduated together. It was AWESOME!

The coolest thing about this is that I never thought I would get a Bachelors degree. Now I have a Master's. My favorite song is country says somthing like--"I finally did what I thought I couldn't do" I'll find the lyrics somewhere, anyway that's my motto.

My siblings surprised me with the best graduation present ever. My very own Wii! Jen threw a pizza party with my friends--she's the best.

Man posting pictures is harder than I thought.

The truth about the bruises.

So if you read my facebook status you'll know I had a few bruises last night. Regretfully they did not intentionally come from my cute friend Josh. We were at family home evening playing volleyball, which I'm usually afraid to play. My roommate and I and Josh started hitting a volleyball around and I actually got it over the net a few times. But I used the back of my hand instead of the inside or my fist. After about 30 minutes I looked at the back of my hand and there were about 6 or 7 big swolen purple bumps where boold vessels should be. I decided my hands are a little to valuable to sacrifice for a few minutes of fun. But it was definitely worth it.

Teacher moments--if I can remember.

I've had a request for funny teacher stories--Here goes.

1. Every day the same students says to me--"Teacher you're as pretty as an Angel and a Princess!" The funny part about that is I show up to school with no make up on, straight out of the shower=frizzy hair and my rattiest clothes, Princess Cinderella (before the fairy-god-mother)

2. One day my 'favorite' student did not show up for school. He would always be the first in line, standing with his dad, everyday. About 2 hours later he and his dad walked into my class. They both looked a little ascew, like they just rolled out of bed and still in their PJ's. The dad said "UHH...Yeah." then turned around and walked out. A little later I said "Scott" How come you were late today? He replied--because daddy spent the night with Jennifer.----Oh :) Okay.

And my favorite of all time

3. I had a picture of Grandma Erma and Grandma Lucy sitting on my table. In the picture they are sitting on a couch and there is a picture of Christ hanging on the wall behind them. One of my students (who is muslim) looked at the picture, pointed to Christ and said 'Teacher who is that?'
I said 'Umm.....his name is Jesus.'
She asked again 'Teacher is he your brother?'
I said 'Ummm.....Yeah.'
She looked at me with a little twinkle, and a smile, and shaking her head said 'Is he your--bruthu from anuthu mothu?'
:) I smiled 'UH....Yeah'
And she walked away laughing "hehehehe I said bruthu from anuthu mothu!'

Oh that was so funny.

Singles Ward 3 : no kidding!!

Last night I went to a ward activity. It was supposed to be Ethnic Food night so everyone could bring a food from the country they served their mission in. HOW FUN!

We pulled into the parking lot there were 6 cars. One of the wives in the bishopric walked in with a BYU hat on :) because tomorrow is the BYU vs. Utah game. On the table was KFC, Little Ceasars, Costco-sweetish meatballs, and Haagen Das ice cream.. . . . . plus a few other authentic dishes that all included rice and some cookies.

We got some food, sat down and one of my friends says "This is just like Chuck-O-Rama!" Then of course the cute girls were in the corner making crepes with strawberries--they're new--they still don't know how lame the rest of us are.

After dinner someone gets out a basketball and starts a game of BUMP while all the girls are taking turns flirting with the ONE hot guy in the ward.

It was a scene straight out of SINGLES WARD 3 !!
ps--my roommate was at a party last week and met one of the actors from the movie 'Charlie' Awesome!

Come on!

Last night I ate salmon and asparagus for dinner. Then i went out and exercised for 30 minutes...............................How come I'm not skinny yet?

Oh the weekend

This weekend I played tennis with my wheelie friends and they're getting better than me. No, no, no we can't let that happen! That's what I'm thinking and then I watch a womens conference talk on the BYU channel all about PRIDE, of course.

I also got denied from my insurance company. So I'm still dealing with insurance idiots from my fire that was almost 4 months ago. (I want my condo to be back to new again, can you blame me--again PRIDE) I really don't want to throw a fit--because I'm not brave enough--but I will. I'm going to stand up for myself even though I probably won't get what I want. I just want to stick it to 'em. Wish me luck!

Last night my roommate, friend, and I watched 13 going on 30. Then we watched the Pat Benatar video that was one of the extras. They started dancing to it and what started out as innocent fun turned into a three hour dress up / make up / video recording of our own Pat Benatar music video. Lucky I was the videographer so I'm not in the video, but I felt like I was 12 again. Oh geez...

I'm off to ward prayer because I guess there really are things you never grow out of. I just might post a few pictures. We'll see if it finally happens.

I know I'm slow

Well I was looking at the dates on my blogs and it's time for a new one. SOOO...I went to church today. I'm still in the same singles ward, for the past 7 years. I turned 31 in February which is the magical age where you get kicked out, but for some reason the bishop asked me if I wanted to stay---LUCKY! The girl who visit teaches me is 18. She's probably younger than Whitney. Oh Geez.

I'm at Jenny's house right now she made homemade pretzels and fried green tomatoes. AH... Yummy! Martha Stewart WHO--ever. We're watching the nightly news right now. Last night there was a man killed in a neighborhood by my school and a swat standoff down the street from my house. :) I love Salt Lake.

I got my new tennis wheelchair a few weeks ago. All my very own and for free. I took some pictures last week so now I just have to figure out how to get them onto my blog. I'm going to keep an eye out for wheelie tournaments in Seattle so you can all come watch.

Hal-O-freakin-lu-yah. It's Labor day weekend I don't have to work tomorrow!! Ciao

Seriously!!

So I got a phone call on Sunday (I'm in Washignton) from my roommate. She was like umm...well...you see...ahh... I was like WHAT!! she continues to tell me my new condo almost burned down while she was at church. Just then another call beeps in it was the Midvale City Fire Dept. Someone flicked a cigarette into the landscape next to my house which is made up of dry bark/bushes right ouside my bay window and started a fire! The FD came and put it out but they had to break in one of my windows to make sure it didn't spread inside. So the outside of my windows is melted and one window is cracked the other was broken out (now boarded up). Luckily nothing happened to my house except a little smoke damage. BUT SERIOUSLY--flicking a cigarette into dry bark!! It must have been crack because how could anyone be so stupid!

My favorites:

My favorite complement: You're funny
My favorite flower: Lilac or I just bought some purple daisies
My favorite book: Smart women finish rich....we'll see!
My favorite store: Costco ;)
My favorite sister: either julia or jennifer hmmm........
My favorite summer treat: hot dogs right off the fire
My favorite Tv show: Lost......I need to get lost!
My favorite movie: Juno
My favorite song: If you are chilly...here take my sweater, cause you-oooo take me the way I am
My favorite thing to talk about: ME (obviously) or boys

Teacher you NEED one of these!!

Last week, at the end of the day I saw one of my students wasn’t done with her math so I went over and sat by her desk because she was needing a little extra attention. She starts telling me that her mom had a baby while we were off track and the baby can’t come home yet because she’s too little.

So I tried to ask her some questions but she didn’t understand or know the answers—especially in English. Then she starts saying “Teacher you are soo nice. Teacher your are the best teacher. Teacher you never yell at us. (Yeah Right) Teacher I love you I wish you were my mom.” I’ll admit it’s a little flattering. Then she asks me “Teacher why you have no daughter?” and I just smiled at her. Then her eyes got really big “Teacher I know…” and she was pinching her index finger and her thumb together and she said “Teacher my mom gets this thing and when you use it if it gets an X you get a baby but if it gets a zero…not baby! “ Then she looks at me so seriously and says “Teacher you NEED one of these!!”

I am positive she went home and asked her mom if she could buy me one of those sticks with the magic X so I can have a baby. I’ve been laughing for days.

Ms. Master's

So I've been working on getting my master's degree for the last 2 years. It has made life pretty busy and I'm definantly getting BURNED OUT. After sitting through 3 hour classes week after week, I keep asking my friends for a spare pencil to poke my eye out but no one has helped me out yet. It has only been barable because I do have good friends sitting through it with me. I've had three teachers that are sooo boring and I just want to hold up a sign that says "I don't care what you teach me--Oh, the world is flat after all. That's great--Now Give Me An A! so I can get a raise"

So in my class I sit on the computer and update my blog until--HOLY CRAP the teacher just called my name and I didn't know what to say!! I did give a pretty good answer though but it will take a few minutes for my heart to stop pounding. AHH!!

Condo

I just bought my first home in December. It was a big mess before it finally got signed right before Christmas. They put a step onto my patio and I had to get a lawyer to get the builder to make it accessible. So I am in the process of filing a fair housing complaint against Midvale City. Don't mess with my accessiblity or I'll take you down or at least write a really nasty letter. Speaking of letters...there were three cars parking in my handicapped spots when I first moved in. So I was trying to be nice and instead of having them ticketed I just put a lice note on their window asking them to please park somewhere else. But no they continued to park there so I blocked them in with my van. :) The girl had to come to my house and ask me to move...to make a long story short her response was--"that's YOUR spot" I was like yeah that's the only place I can park and be able to get my wheelchair into my house. Her response was "FINE" with attitude of course. Parking in a handicapped spot and complaining when someone in a wheelchair asks you to move...Poor girl is paving a path to Hell. Oh I'll post pictures.